Telling My Parents I Want To Be An Author

Today is Sunday. I've been awake for thirteen hours, I've cried for probably five of them.

In my previous (also, my first) post, I talked about how I've reached the point in my own character arc where my priorities/passions/goals have changed from what they were when I was younger. I spent the last decade mentally striving and planning for a career in speech therapy. It's clear to me now this isn't the path for me; speech therapy isn't the purpose I believe God has chosen me for. Writing is.

I had no idea how I was going to tell my parents, or when I was going to tell my parents, but after a spiritually moving service in church this morning (and lots of crying on my behalf) I knew I had to talk to them when I got home.

My mom was plucking my eyebrows--yes, you read that correctly--my mom was plucking my eyebrows when I told her I no longer want to get a masters degree. Our conversation was what I hoped and prayed it would be. She was encouraging and supportive. She told me my mental health matters more than making money, and that I shouldn't feel guilty for not wanting to pursue a career I'm not passionate about.

Let me interrupt this story by saying that my mom is absolutely correct. IF you're reading this right now, and you don't know if you deserve peace and passion when it comes to your career--YOU DO!. If you have anyone in your life telling you that your dreams are overrated, please, don't listen to them. Don't believe them. Have enough fire inside you, enough rage in your soul, enough desperation for your dreams, that you push away those discouraging lies and vow to pursue your dreams anyways.

I had to do that today & I'm honestly shocked at the fact that I didn't break into pieces. I did not break. I cried, yes. (Fun fact: I cry a lot).

Basically, my dad wasn't as receptive to the idea as I wanted him to be.

Were harsh things said? Yes.

Was it discouraging? Yes.

Did I change my mind? No.

He came around by dinner time. Not completely, but better than before. I sympathize, truly. It isn't easy having grand hopes for someone and then realizing they won't see the great opportunities you envisioned for them. That's the reason I feel so guilty. I don't want to be letting anyone down. But that group of "anyone" includes me, too.

Nothing about today was easy. I feel like I broke my parent's hearts. I was so stressed and distraught, I've had a slight shake in my legs since mid-afternoon. It's now almost midnight. I'm sure I sound pretty dramatic, and if you ask my boyfriend, my family is a bunch of drama kings/queens. But I'm all right with being dramatic. I learned a very long time ago that all my feelings are valid. And yours are, too.

Whatever you're feeling--it's all right to feel that way. Yes, today was emotional and hard and ugly. But I'm really proud of myself. Subconsciously, I've been dreading today for years. It's the reason I didn't make this step two years ago. I was too nervous about what my parents would say. Of course in doing that, I endured way more stress than was necessary and cheapened myself out of lots of writing/reading time. But sometimes God makes us take the long way around. I'm just happy I got here. I did something that terrified me and lived to talk about it. Against the harrowing odds, the potential arguments and disappointment, the anxiety and uncertainty--I chose me. I chose my dream.

No matter what happens, no matter what my parents, or others say, I will always be proud of myself for following my heart.

I hope that if you're in a similar situation, that you can find the courage inside of you to do what you need to do in order to chase your dreams. Bite the bullet and do it. If you feel it's right for you, then it probably is.

And if no one else says it to you today---I believe in you.

Keep dreaming,

Brooke Cheyenne x